Your entrance fee covers all buildings and 
listening devices, but we are not at liberty 

to reveal why spirits roam this hamlet. 
They only see you when a camera flashes. 

We advise against smoking 
in the graveyard. Women who are pregnant 

or who may become pregnant should not linger 
behind damaged mirrors. Photography can result 

in disappearances. When skipping through green 
spirits, please secure welding glasses. 

Black spirits turn invisible when they dream
and often dust your face

as a growling breeze. Shrieking may cause
your body to drift but you can be retrieved

from our safety nets. If you spot relatives
alert our staff with careful gestures.

Jeffrey product photo.jpg

JEFFREY H. MACHLACHLAN has recent or forthcoming work in New Ohio Review, the minnesota review, Eleven Eleven, and Clay Bird Review, among others. He is a PhD candidate in the Center for Writers at The University of Southern Mississippi. You can read his jokes about sports and music on Twitter @jeffmack.