GHOST TOWN WAIVER
Your entrance fee covers all buildings and
listening devices, but we are not at liberty
to reveal why spirits roam this hamlet.
They only see you when a camera flashes.
We advise against smoking
in the graveyard. Women who are pregnant
or who may become pregnant should not linger
behind damaged mirrors. Photography can result
in disappearances. When skipping through green
spirits, please secure welding glasses.
Black spirits turn invisible when they dream
and often dust your face
as a growling breeze. Shrieking may cause
your body to drift but you can be retrieved
from our safety nets. If you spot relatives
alert our staff with careful gestures.
JEFFREY H. MACHLACHLAN has recent or forthcoming work in New Ohio Review, the minnesota review, Eleven Eleven, and Clay Bird Review, among others. He is a PhD candidate in the Center for Writers at The University of Southern Mississippi. You can read his jokes about sports and music on Twitter @jeffmack.